It’s been far too long since my last post in The College Series, so I wanted to pick it back up this week since all my college friends are heading back to school this week ( or soon ). Last time I talked about what I wish I knew before starting college, and now today I want to talk about what I wish I knew before graduating. So! This one is for all my lady friends around the web in their last semester or year:
Friendships fade without the proper stoking, just like a fire I think one of the main things I looked forward to with college was creating those lifelong friendships they talk about in the movies, and well, real life. Don’t get me wrong, I had a good group of friends prior to moving away, but I wanted people who I ( to put it bluntly ) absolutely knew I could depend on and would be there with me for a while. While I did make one or two of those, it’s shocked me that in the three months that we’ve been away that we’ve all sort of just gone our separate ways, and things have faded. Friendships before, during, and after college take time and commitment, and if you want the friendship to withstand the distance and time, you have to keep at it.
“Growing up” is as easy or hard as you make it I remember so many people talking before we graduated about the fact that they didn’t want to “grow up” and get a real job. Some of them continued into graduate school for that reason. However, honestly: “growing up” is as easy or as hard as you make it for yourself. My second semester junior year I felt ready to go and grow up; my senior year, I felt beyond ready and confident in my next steps. Make it easier on yourself by having steps to take after you graduate ( instead of, you know, waiting for them to fall in your lap ), and growing up will be much easier than you may think. Having set steps that I knew I was going to follow after graduation has made these last three months of “growing up” not as hard as people may make it seem.
Moving home isn’t as bad as it may seem Y’all – I love my parents, but I dreaded the idea of moving home. I would absolutely have stayed where I was had D not been leaving. Unfortunately though, I knew that it was best for many reasons that I move home. Although it has been a bit of an adjustment, it isn’t as bad as it may seem. Consider this: no rent, home cooked meals ( almost ) every night, and if you’re lucky enough to freelance: you’re parents won’t care if you skip a shower day every now and then.
Wowzers, those things may seem sort of negative, but honestly, I’ve had the best three months ( minus the part of D being away ), and I can happily say I’m very much enjoying the graduate life! Life is always about how you make it for yourself, so if you’re getting ready to graduate, enjoy your last days, but don’t worry about what’s ahead!
Jessa says
I love all of these things. The one about growing up is easy or as tough as you make it. That’s the truth right there. I added a minor just to avoid graduation, and the economy wasn’t better when I graduated. But if I did graduate then I wouldn’t have met my husband. It’s all perspective.
kory says
Thanks, Jessa! Yes – I absolutely agree, it’s about how you make it. Like I said, a lot of people I knew didn’t want to start living in the “real world” and so they prolonged their education. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. And! Isn’t it funny how fate works out like that?! My guy almost went to a different college when he started and if he had we never would have met! So crazy to think about!
Abigail says
I find that a lot of friendships from school just fade away because of many people not making the effort, but that’s when you find out who really is there for you. Still, I have a couple more years until graduating fully! :)
kory says
I definitely agree, Abigail! Most of my friendships from high school and college have faded primarily because there’s little to no effort ( on both their end AND my end, I’m not innocent ). However, you’re absolutely right that you find out who is really your friend in those situations. Also – live up those last few years! You’ll be amazed at how fast they fly by!
JenaY Ross says
I read your point about friendships at the right time. I’ve felt pretty disconnected from my college friends. Between being away on tour and busy with settling back into a new routine, it’s been strange to recognize how distant we’ve become. Just means it’s time to make more of an effort to spend time with both old AND new friends! It’s not always easy, but doable :) Great read, Kory.
kory says
Definitely agree, Jenay! I think it’s also difficult if / when you have different goals and priorities. I found that my freelance career + my relationship with my guy were the absolute most important, and I noticed that other people had different priorities, which naturally makes it difficult to continue to have a real connection.
Theresa says
I just did a post today about how hard it is to make and maintain friends after college!
Agreed on taking steps after graduating – everyone is thrown into the real world at the same time, so you have to be proactive to get opportunities!
Theresa
http://www.underhonesttrees.com